A Random Story Part Two

Here's the second and final part of that story,

She kept no-one near her, she built up the brick wall that surrounded her, reinforced by steel plates and concrete so that no-one could ever break it down leaving her secure within the tower that she had built. People had tried to scale the walls and break them down and sometimes they got through the perimeter but when they stood there and were faced by the reinforced steel bunker that contained the true person they couldn't face the task and just walked away back to the outer walls where things were normal and they didn't have to prove themselves.
But this was no surprise to her, she never expected anyone to want to get to the core of her and even if they did she would never let them, she would push them until they gave up and walked away, another broken friendship littering the ground that she surveyed. She always felt that she never needed these people; she was strong enough to cope on her own. She never understood why she should rely on someone who would just let her down and cause her pain, when she could lock herself away and save herself the heartbreak and the hurt.
She was never happier than when she was alone in the world just her and her mask and no-one wanting to talk to her or share with her their pain without being willing to listen to her. However there was a part of her buried deep that craved the easy friendship of someone who would listen in return and who would hold her close through the long dark nights. But this part was buried along with the other feelings that dealt with people, she wanted to survive as she was, she didn’t have the strength to cope with the thoughts of others and the needs that dwelt within her. She believed herself to be the strong independent person who never needed another person as they would just let her down and fill up the room in her mind with more thoughts that would prey on her.
But sitting there cross-legged on her bed she couldn’t help but feel that things would have to change one day. That sooner or later, if she did nothing the deception that she lived with would overcome everything else and she would never be able to fully recover herself to the person that she could be. As within her there was the promise of a person who was worthwhile and who was valuable and sometimes she realised this and made a list of all her positive aspects but the daemons that resided within her would always ridicule these thoughts and as quick as the positives had come the negatives would appear and push everything else out of the way.
She picked up the knife and watched as it reflected the light onto the lilac walls, holding it firmly in her right-hand she felt the weight as it lay there, feeling the conflicting emotions that passed through her as she considered the options for that night.
As she place the cold flat of the blade against her skin she realised that the demanding need had gone and that just by thinking about who she was she had overcome the problems for that night, and as she sat there she felt a small part of the mask fall away and at the corner of her eye a tear formed on her true skin and she smiled at the feeling of the warm wetness against her skin. And with that she replaced the knife back in its plastic case and placed it back into the drawer where it was kept. And as she lay down, wrapped up within the warmth of the cover with her teddy caught up in her hand she realised that she had just made the first step on the road back to the world, and although she knew that the road would be long and twisting she felt able for the first time to contemplate actually walking along it without turning back and facing up to the monsters and obstacles that lay hidden along the path.