Guilt

At the moment I feel really guilty for not helping my parents set up the Christmas tree and decorate the house. I did help out on Thursday by wrapping all the presents for the relations that had to be given on Friday, but that seems like such a small thing. I just can't help but feel guilty about not doing much in the house even though I am tending to spend half the day feeling really rotten and not actually well enough to do anything, and even then I feel guilty for not feeling well and for not pulling myself together and getting on with things like everyone else in the world seems to do.

I think I don't really like Christmas that much, mainly because it is so stressful for the household, my dad is at his busiest and my mum is trying to get her dissertation finished as well as write another essay, organise Christmas and work. I really should do more to help but I don't know how.

I really am a waste of space.