Spiders

The general spiders meeting is being held in my house tonight, this is the most important one of the year as it's where they decide which rooms they wish to inhabit for the next few months and who they want to scare in the middle of the night.
Unfortunately two of them have encountered problems, and can't attend due to the fact that one is stuck in the bathtub and isn't getting far and the other is stuck in the sink. Although the one in the sink is trying to escape, it only thinks to do so when the water is running and so more often than not it ends up having to run round the sink in a demented way to escape from the drain (even though it is almost too big to actually fit down the drain)
One spider which was making his way to the conference came upon unexpected problems when crossing a room as he was caught in a spider-catcher and removed from the premises, he expects to be back in the house within a few days though. He was very co-operative when he was asked to leave, as rather than running away he opted to stay still and then climb into the spider-catcher, although he may have thought that this was the transport being provided to him rather than anything else.
Apart from these unavailable spiders the meeting was a success and the general consensus was that my bedroom should be the place where they will hide for the rest of the year, with some opting for the more old fashioned approach of lurking in dark corners before jumping out and running straight towards their intended victim. Although some spiders find that this works even better if they only move and run at the person when they (the person that is, not the spiders although they have been working on a campaign to be able to work light switches) turn the lights on.
The spiders also decided that in the long run a more spaced out campaign is worthwhile this year, since they have all been working out and are now much faster and bigger than they have been in previous years. They also wish to wage a campaign over the spider-catcher and have already begun the process by intentionally becoming larger than it and also using the tried and tested method of reaching out as far as possible, before clinging onto the rim of the device so that they cannot be properly caught. This works best if the person wielding the catcher is phobic, although it does cause some annoyance for others.
Within the meeting one spider did raise the matter of the brother who, more often than not, would kill whatever spider he found rather than releasing them back outside. To combat this problem they have decided to ignore that particular room within the house, even though this would mean that they were losing out on prime real-estate. But to make up for this dramatic loss in housing they were looking into branching out further into other bedrooms, and possibly resuming the habit of crawling round the top of the room during the middle of the night. Some spiders did suggest the idea of returning to the 'good old days' when they were often found crawling across the actual bed, but on the whole this idea was knocked back, simply because the bed no longer consisted of a mattress on the floor. Although this does not prevent certain spiders from pursuing this course of action, especially if they have been removed from the house in the spider-catcher and have had to suffer the cold outdoors for a few days.
As a final note to their meeting before they dispersed throughout the house, the spiders wished to thank certain members of the public who have made their lives slightly easier, mainly the builders who put in air vents into the roof, allowing them fresh access into this previously unexplored area. As we speak certain intrepid explorers are already investigating and mapping the area to see what is available to them, although there has been some problems with the natives but hopefully the acts of cannibalism will stop once a common language has been found. The second member of the public that the spiders must thank is the man who fixed the front doorstep of the house, as this makes walking into the front of the house much easier, as they no longer have to contend with the gaping hole that existed. Although they are sorry about the loss of jobs that this fix has meant and are hoping that soon these highly skilled workers will get new employment, especially if the plans for a bridge back into the house through the front window comes to fruition.
The spiders have now dispersed (except for those in the bathroom, they have been forced to wait until they are removed and released back outside) to their new homes and are settling in well, and are looking forward to spending the coming months scaring the living daylights out of certain people.