An apology of sorts.

Having just sat and read through all my posts I feel an apology is in order to anyone who bothers to read this nonsense. All I seem to do is just repeat the same old things in different ways, it is obvious that I have not moved one inch further forward within my life, in fact of anything I've managed to take an even bigger step backwards. So I am sorry for writing all this nonsense, and

who controls my thoughts? I know I have mentioned this before but I'm getting almost paranoid about why I think certain things. Especially as there doesn't seem to be any reason for me to think them. I am a lucky person, I have a family who loves me and takes care of me, I have a roof over my head and food whenever I want. And yet I feel incomplete, like something is missing within me, a feeling or a reaction which has been switched off and I don't know what it is. I don't even know if that makes sense, but some days I just feel weird, and I really can't think of a better word for it. I feel on edge like I am constantly waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. But then again I can feel often feel this way when it is windy as it is tonight.

I'm going to shut up now and try to relax and just get some sleep, and I'm sorry for all the long rambling posts, one day I will sort my head out just not today.

Oh yeah and the clocks go back tonight, which might help me sort out my sleep pattern or just really confuse me.